you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
