The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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