Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
