Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Randomize