I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
