ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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