I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
