dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
