Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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