you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Everclear isn't food dammit
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
