He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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