we have pet lesbian snakes
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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