Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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