with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
