Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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