Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
