The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
