He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
