it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
