omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He has the fingertips of a God
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