Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
