Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Oh god it's open bar.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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