the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize