She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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