Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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