I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Non-Jews are for practice
He is an equal opportunity slut.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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