I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Randomize