Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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