they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
