you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize