He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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