if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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