I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
