so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
