when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize