On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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