Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
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