Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
