I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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