One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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