around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
