piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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