Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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