i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
