Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
