Where is the hickey?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
