he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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