JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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