If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
