Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
