So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
