I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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