well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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