I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
