how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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