my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
