I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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