Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize