hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
