no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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