great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
