Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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